Addressing Aggressive Board Member Behavior
A Path Toward Productive HOA Governance
Recently we had a situation where we took over management of a HOA Association which had a Board that was split for a long time, personalities developed, and both sides were locking horns. So we wanted to put some ideas down on how to handle this.
It's important for all parties involved to remember that serving on a board of directors is a position of trust. Board members are volunteers who are tasked with making decisions that impact an entire community, often under pressure and with competing priorities but at the end of the day, the purpose is to serve the community.
Passion
Passion and strong opinions are not inherently negative, problems arise when assertiveness crosses the line into aggressive behavior or borderline bullying. Left unaddressed, this conduct can damage relationships, discourage participation, and undermine the effectiveness of the board as a whole.
Aggressive board behavior can take many forms: dismissive language, raised voices, public criticism, intimidation of fellow board members, or repeated targeting of management or residents. These behaviors rarely stem from malice alone. More often, they are rooted in frustration, lack of clarity about roles, insufficient training on governance and communication, or even from personal bias influencing their judgement. The key is addressing the behavior constructively before it becomes a defining feature of board culture.
The Role of Communication
Open and respectful communication is the foundation of any effective board. When aggressive behavior emerges, avoidance often worsens the problem. Instead, concerns should be addressed early and directly. This does not mean confrontation in a heated meeting, but rather calm, private conversations that focus on behavior and goals, not personality or biases.
Using “we” and “I” statements can help keep discussions productive. For example, “When conversations become heated, it makes it difficult for the board to collaborate effectively,” is far more constructive than accusatory language. Managers can play a critical role here by facilitating dialogue, clarifying expectations, and keeping discussions focused on facts, not emotions.
Establishing a Code of Ethics
Boring, right? Well, a clear and well-documented code of ethics sets the tone for professional conduct. This document should outline expectations regarding respect, equal treatment, confidentiality, and decorum. When all board members formally acknowledge and adopt a code of ethics, it creates a shared standard that transcends individual personalities. Remember, a code of ethics means nothing if not adopted by all members.
Keep in mind, a code of ethics is not about punishment, rather accountability. When behavior becomes problematic, the code provides a neutral reference point. It is the code that is asking the Board member to adjust, not another Board member or the agent. Discussions can then center on alignment with agreed-upon standards rather than personal disagreements.
Pre-Emptive Training and Guidance
Many issues can be avoided through proactive education. Board members often come from diverse backgrounds and may have little experience in governance, conflict resolution, or collaborative decision-making. Training sessions for the Board of Directors can provide valuable guidance on roles, responsibilities, and communication best practices.
PMI Service Group does offer all new Board members instructive training on common aspects of Community management, as well as professional guidance and expertise from our many years of property management experience. There are also training programs available through our local Chicago area CAI offices, or through private consultation or even general management. Additional training in specific areas related to property and construction offer Board members a look into managing projects and complexities involved, such as lead paint mitigation, which provide a basis of understanding.
Topics such as meeting management, fiduciary duty, budget analysis, contract negotiation, etc. help board members understand not just what decisions they make, but how they make them. Pre-emptive training empowers board members to recognize unproductive behavior in themselves and others before it escalates.
Constructive Criticism
When aggressive behavior persists, direct and constructive feedback is necessary. Silence can be perceived as acceptance. Constructive criticism should be timely, specific, and solution-oriented. The goal is improvement, not embarrassment.
Managers often serve as the steady professional presence in these situations and must promote open discussion and self-reflection (even amongst managers). By modeling calm communication, setting boundaries, and reinforcing board policies, managers help steer interactions back toward professionalism.
A Shared Responsibility
Ultimately, both managers and board members share responsibility for creating a respectful, inclusive, and professional environment. Board members must remain open to feedback, treat all stakeholders equally, and recognize the influence their behavior has on the broader community. Managers must guide, support, and, when needed, address issues with clarity and confidence.
Healthy boards are not free from disagreement. Disagreement should be encouraged to bring about new thinking and ideas, and be handled with respect. When communication, ethics, training, and constructive feedback are prioritized, even difficult personalities can become productive contributors. Professionalism is not optional in association leadership; it is essential!
PMI Service Group manages residential rental homes, Associations, commercial properties and even commercial Associations. Let us help you establish professionalism and trust in your Chicagoland Community.
PMI Service Group
630-912-8742
